Food. Asian Food.

Hey, have I mentioned that I recently went on a trip to Southeast Asia? Yes? Many times? OK. Just let me tell you about what I put in my face while I was there. Then I'll stop. Maybe.

I know it will make me sound like a silly Westerner, but I think the most satisfying meal I had on the trip was Pad Thai that I bought from a street vendor on Khao San Road in Bangkok. I picked out the variety of noodle and ingredients I wanted (chicken, eggs, and shrimp were the options, I went with the first two) and then watched as the street chef tossed it all together over the skillet with some mystery sauce. I grinned like a shithead while she handed it to me, seasoned it to my liking with crushed peanuts and red pepper flakes, then I plopped down on a curb behind her cart, and commenced shoving it into my face, until it was gone. I wake up in the night, thinking about that meal.

It's probably no surprise that the pho in Vietnam ruined me for all future stateside beef noodle soup encounters. And what's sad is I think even Vietnam's fast pho beat out my hometown standby. But the version that all others will from now on fall short of came from a little place called Pho Gia, just a couple blocks away from where we were staying. The broth was fragrant, the noodles were wide and homemade, the beef tender, the veggies fresh... OH MY GOD I WANT SOME NOW. Pho is actually breakfast in Vietnam, which meant that I usually accompanied it with a Cafe Sua da - some high-octane French coffee cut with sweetened condensed milk, over ice. After the first one I was convinced I'd left my body. (There was some jet lag involved, too.)

In Vietnam, the pho certainly stole the show in my eyes, but I can't write a post about food and not mention the elephant ear fish that I had at a home stay in the Mekong Delta. Extra points for presentation.

So. Confession time. I didn't give Malaysia a fair shake when it came to their native cuisine. I ate at Pizza Hut. Twice. In my defense, I also climbed a mountain there. Which is my default excuse for a lot of questionable Borneo behavior. Like mixing Chinese cooking liquor with Coke, referring to it as "shandy" and drinking it almost every evening because we didn't realize it was... Chinese cooking liquor. Did I mention I climbed a mountain? Yep, totally playing the mountain card.

But as hard as I tried to evade any hint of culture, I managed to stumble upon a traditional Malaysian breakfast: Laksa. Not to be outdone by the Vietnamese in the breakfast department, the fine people of Borneo start the day with this spicy peanut soup with chicken, shrimp, and rice noodles. And that black thing in the background is iced coffee, sans condensed milk. Get it with milk.

OK, here I am, still talking - but there's so much more I haven't even touched on! Like the inch-think pancake in Koh Lanta with the bananas inside, and the smoothies! The pomelo and jackfruit, the red bean ice cream! Not to mention the fantastic Indian food I had in Saigon, and the curries in Thailand! I could go on and on. But I'll do my best to stop. Or at least mix it up a bit. No promises.

Gigantic Trip Recap. Buckle Up.

It's unfortunate, how quickly you readjust to your routine after returning from being away. I got back to Portland after spending over three weeks in Southeast Asia and already it seems like it all happened to someone else, a long time ago. Just ten days ago, I was on top of a mountain in Borneo! And today I fiddled around on a computer, assembling a marketing plan for the next fiscal year. Such is life, I suppose.

In addition to looking at my photos three times a day, I hope that blogging about my adventure might just help me cling to its fleeting magic. So, indulge me, while I share some highlights. (But I should note, there were many highlights.)

We started in Vietnam, where we lucky enough to have amazing hosts and guides in our friends Mike and Karinna, who in addition to looking ridiculously cute in their pointy hats, have been living in Saigon for almost two years. We arrived during the middle of the Tet celebration, which meant that many businesses were closed. Being there during their most revered holiday had its perks, like a slightly slower city pulse and some elaborate one-time-a-year flower displays.

After a few days exploring Saigon, we left on a 2 day trip to Ben Tre, a city to the south nestled in the Mekong River Delta. We hopped on a slow boat with Hai, our guide, and stopped often - to visit a traditional brick factory, eat tropical fruit, ride bikes through the complex network of sidewalk-sized "roads" through the delta, eat an amazing 5 course lunch (more on that in a later post, dedicated solely to food), a stop at a coconut candy factory and the Vinh Trang pagoda.

From Vietnam we'd planned to fly to Bangkok, but when all four of us got to the airport we were rejected because Beardy only had a couple months left on his passport, and in order to not be held liable for him incase Thailand wouldn't take him, the airline wouldn't let him go. He also woke up that day with a really nasty case of food poisoning. To make a long story less long, he got the Visa, but had to wait over the weekend. I went to Bangkok, where between massages I wandered Khao San Road eating just about anything a vendor tried to get me to buy. And without question it was the best food I had on the whole trip. (Food post! Coming soon.)

Thailand has perfected the art of making its guests feel OK about partaking in a bit of gluttony. Amazing beaches are provided for your slothing pleasure, the food delicious, the people predominantly charming, and should you decide you'd like to drag your sorry ass off your beach towel, there are tons of activities that fit the bill. I could definitely spent more time in Thailand. After they sort our that whole political unrest thing.

Then! Beard flew home, and to Borneo I went. I met up with a fabulous lady crew and we spent two days climbing to the top of Mt. Kinabalu, the highest point in all of southeast Asia with a summit at 13,000 feet, which I reached in time to watch the sunrise. Although afterward I would have qualified for a walker and could have developed an unwieldy addiction to prescription strength painkillers, which coincidentally are sold at any old 7-11 over there... I am so glad I climbed that mountain... in Borneo. For the win.

I'm tired. Are you still reading this? If so, that's very kind. Or maybe you're lonely? Or are you trying to fall asleep yourself? It's OK. I'm pretty much done. After the mountain, I found a beach, curled up in the fetal position there - wait, actually, I couldn't bend my legs, so it was probably more like corpse pose. Yes, I assumed corpse pose, with a book, on Mamutik island. After some beach camping I treated myself to a fancy hotel, and went to the most amazing night market. Then I began my long journey back to Portland.

Thanks for playing. You're an incredibly good sport. It's good to be home.

What the pho?

Vietnam, you are wild. It's been a week now, and my experiences here have ranged from the amazing, like this photo of the best pho anyone will ever eat in their lifetime - to the baffling - What do you mean, we can't get on this plane to Thailand because Beardy's passport expires in three months? We wanted a genuine experience, and we're getting it. In the meantime, I guess we'll just have to wait for the appropriate paperwork and eat more amazing pho. Oh! And let's not forget about those ridiculous little croissants filled with ham and cheese. Thank you, France. And Thailand, you're going to have to try harder than this to keep me out. I'm coming for you.